Greatest one liners

WebOct 13, 2024 · 6. "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed." Interscope Records. "All Star" by Smash Mouth. — ivannar2. 7. "A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly ... 1. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. 2. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 3. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke. 5. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but … See more 21. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. 22. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. 23. Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that … See more 41. The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense. 42. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re … See more 81. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without a tres. 82. Fighting for peaceis like screwing for virginity. 83. A ghost walked into a … See more 61. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. 62. The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP. 63. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. 64. A dung beetle walks … See more

50 One-Liner Jokes That

WebNov 5, 2024 · Funny one-liners 1. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession. 2. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?” 3. My IQ test results... WebFeb 24, 2016 · 97 "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally, 1989 Photo : Photofest Writer Nora... désactiver clic pavé tactile windows 10 https://retlagroup.com

24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties - LiveAbout

WebMar 9, 2024 · 125 George Carlin Quotes. 1. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. "Men are from Earth ... WebMar 4, 2024 · Arguably, one of the best parts about a joke is the punchline. As such, we’ve curated some of the most rib-cracking one-liner jokes for your entertainment/ So, sit … WebAug 21, 2024 · Via Getty Images/Michael Heim / EyeEm. "A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife … désactiver microsoft exchange outlook

4653 Funny One Liners - Funniest Short Jokes

Category:Funny & Famous One Liners ... a list on 1 page - Smart Words

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Greatest one liners

100 Funny One-Liners to Crack Up Your Friends — Best …

WebSep 6, 2013 · Finding the right words when detonating an atomic bomb or sacrificing one's life for friendship came easy for these people. 1. Lawrence Oates before walking into a deadly blizzard: "I am just ... WebOne liners by tag. age; alcohol; animal; attitude; beauty; black; blonde; car; christian; communication; death; dirty; doctor; drug; family; fat; fighting; flirty; food; friendship; gay; God; happiness; hate; health; insults; intelligence; …

Greatest one liners

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WebThe coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth. . Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said, “Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”. A man visits a televangelist and ... WebApr 11, 2024 · The 6 best Succession season 4 episode 3 one-liners, ranked. 6. Gregging. One of the many great reasons to catch Succession on HBO Max is the dynamic between Tom and Greg. With things escalating ...

WebApr 22, 2024 · – Jimmy Carr “You never know where to look when eating a banana.” – Peter Kay “If they’re making cakes for divorces, why not ‘Happy Menopause!’ ‘Mmm, it’s a bit dry. Why is there no jam? Have you... WebJun 16, 2016 · Tourstours: Here’s to the only B word you should ever call a woman: “Beautiful.” Because bitches love it when you call them beautiful. pappajay2001: This is my stepladder… I never knew my real ladder. …

WebJun 8, 2024 · Sure, there are mom jokes and jokes for kids, but we just can't help but laugh at the one-liners from dear old dad. Put these so-bad-they're-good best dad jokes of all time to use as Father's Day captions and put a smile on your old man's face this year. Web11 Clean One Liner Jokes. “Money talks. But all mine ever says is goodbye.”. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”. “Some cause happiness wherever they …

WebJul 8, 2024 · Relax, we've got your back. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even …

WebAug 28, 2024 · Stewart Francis is a master of the one-liner “I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” – Jack Whitehall “‘What’s a couple?’ I asked my … désactiver info bulle windows 10WebApr 3, 2024 · 1 Jerry Seinfeld on funerals Shutterstock "Proof that we don't understand death is that we give dead people a pillow." And for more comedy jokes, check out 30 Funniest Memes of All Time. 2 Chris Rock … désactiver microsoft viva outlookWebOct 17, 2009 · One one-liner a day keeps the doctor away…so, here is a shortlist of the best one-liners you can find on the internet today. Have fun! 1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t... chrysanthemums deliveryWebI can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. One liner tags: life, time, work. 83.10 % / 1374 votes. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too. One liner tags: car, sarcastic, time, travel, work. 82.80 % / 529 votes. chrysanthemum scientific nameWebJun 18, 2024 · Jesus Christ and Pope one liner jokes. We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of Jesus Christ and pope funny lines and enjoy. 1: Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case. chrysanthemums cushion pinkWebGo on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”. 23. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 24. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 25. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 26. chrysanthemums definitionWebMay 25, 2024 · Amen. “I’m not usually religious, but when I saw you, I knew you were the answer to my prayers.”. Now that you have these cheesy pick up lines ready to go, add these flirty knock-knock jokes ... chrysanthemums color meaning